Are we in for PPD?

If you are not familiar with the acronym PPD, it stands for Post-Partum Depression, and a lot of women get it in varying degrees. So, just to inform, there are the baby blues, which is typical for the first couple of weeks after giving birth and usually disappears after 14 days. Then there is PPD, which is a little more serious and can last for a long time and if untreated it can become the worst of all, Post-Partum Psychosis. I figured I'd have some kind of baby blues, I mean, I have a history of serious depression and having a baby is a seriously life-changing event. With my son, it was ok because I was able to sleep whenever he did and all I really had to do was take care of him, do some housework and take care of myself. This time however is a whole new ball of wax. It's harder to get the sleep I need, it's definitely harder to go out anywhere and the stress is a little bit higher. I mean, I'm completely responsible for two little lives now! That's a lot to take on. I am obviously not alone in this adventure, but because I am breastfeeding, it's not like my husband can take on a night feeding for me. Ok, yes, I can pump but at the same time, to me, it doesn't seem right to ask my hubby who works 10 hours a day to get up in the middle of the night to do a feeding. He works in a place where he needs to be completely aware so sleep deprivation on the job is dangerous. So, here I am exhausted and on the brink. I've been taking some steps to avoid falling into the pit of a full blown episode but apparently I should have been getting myself prepared for this BEFORE Grace was born because most programs have a long wait list. I seem to be better over the weekends when Stephen gets up when Zander wakes and lets me get some more zzs but it doesn't last. The public health nurse was here yesterday (they are wonderful) and she seems to feel that I am heading in the right direction but I am worried that in the time it takes to get into a program, it could be a little too late. I am trying so hard to think positive, to focus on other things, to motivate myself to get out of the house but the thought of getting two kids into the car, with all the necessary paraphenalia is daunting. And then the thought of being caught out and having to feed the baby makes me cringe. With Zander it was so easy, he was quick and quiet... this little girl is messy and loud and takes her sweet time. I don't want to rush a second of their precious lives but I can't wait until this stage is done. Now if I could figure out how to manouever the damn stroller, I'd be on a roll.